


Is there any light left?

by Sheith_is_life



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Death, Coming back to life, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:46:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheith_is_life/pseuds/Sheith_is_life
Summary: Blood... oh dear god there was so much blood....After a freak accident and break in it leaves one less paladin...Keith pretty much comes back





	1. Chapter 1

Blood... oh god... there was so much blood... so so so much....6 months.... it's been 6 months. The atlas was heavily damaged, leading to little to no power. They couldn't save him, no power = no healing pods. Oh god there was so much blood, regardless, if they could get the healing pods working I don't think it could save him. My hands were stained with .his. blood, not that I did anything to prevent them from staining. I spent a solid 30 ticks just staring off into space, my friend had died in my arms. You couldn't blame me for being out of focus lately. I practically begged for him to stay awake, I don't spend as much time with the team since  _he_ died. It's pretty much an unspoken rule not to say his name, but everyone can tell when the discussion is about him. Is this how he felt when I disappeared? Maybe its worse for me since I know he isn't coming back, I should have done more to keep him from going in after katie. She was unharmed too, but we couldn't get to her. Not until kei- not until .he. did what he did. I guess pidge is alive because of him. God I can't believe he's gone, no one's the same but they try... Lance stopped making jokes, flirting, and spent alot of the time alone. He's getting better though, he probably blames himself. He probably hates himself for all the fights he started, pidge will hardly talk to anyone. Maybe she think she would get yelled at? I wouldn't, and I wouldn't let anyone. I know how hard she's taking it, She believes it's her fault. Hell it may even be her fault?, no. No nevermind it isn't it isn't it isn't it isn't it's mine. I could have stopped him, or atleast went with him. We still had a job to do, there was- someone destroying galra and coalition bases. Lance had the idea to get them on our side, the idea was discarded due to him destroying our allies resources. He was definitely not on our side, mainly because of the little notes he left in multiple languages at each attack zone. . _You left. .you caused this. .its your fault. And finally .traitors_. I had the thought that Keith was behind it but- h-he was dead. And he tried to murder lance, nothing was making sense. Maybe it was some civilian that we couldn't save their family? It was about 3 days after the last attack that we ourselves got atacked, the stranger was dawned in a full black suit. It reminded me of a paladin suit, the visor in the helmet wasnt visable. He looked unarmed, until a twin blades came threw the sleeves of his suit. The stranger nearly took my freaking head off, the intruder severely injured lances arm. It was the next day that we found the black bayard stabbed into my door, it took a while to open my door. When did they have the time to get it from the armory? We had to fix the display case that we kept his armour in. Not gonna lie, I was fucking pissed at that. . _Cam.4_ 22:35. The stranger had entered the armory first, he walked slowly to our armour. They didnt try to tamper with it, nothing at all. He did do something that pissed me off though, he kneed and kicked the display case until it smashed into small shards. They pulled the bayard out and placed it on their belt, they walked out the door stabbing his blade into the keypad. They had stolen pidges laptop, leaving her "empty" her words not mine. It was strange, almost as if during our fight they were holding back. To be honest it looked like they were shaking, what did we do to make them this way? They didnt show up often after that, at least not that we know of. Matt didn't know anything, they just showed up out of the blue. There was only one option. That really was keith. I wouldn't mention it, they wouod think me as crazy. But that is keith, somehow, his fighting style and being amidesterous with his twin blades just made sense. Maybe quintessence? He'd been affected by it before, and it is a highly useful resource. It brought Zarkon back from the dead. I don't see why it couldn't do the same with Keith. I heard a knock at my door, being careful I slowly walked over. I opened it to see nothing "you never left.. did you?" I said not looking back, knowing that he was there. "Keith?" I asked "Keith isn't in the building right now... and he won't be coming back anytime soon" he spoke in a sarcastic tone. "What happened to you?" I asked slowly. "I'll tell you what happened... _You. Let. Me. Die_ " his voice turned cold half way through, making me shiver. "Oh what? You can drop the act! I know you were happy I fucking died! I was-" he ranted "what are you talking about?" I interrupted. "How long have you been back!?" I turned around finally, his hands were shaking. Different from before, he was pissed. "Why do you care?!" He yelled. "Why do I care!? Because I always have, because you were always there for me, because you were willing to get in fights for people you care about!" I replied "Seeing as you left me with . _them_., I say I should be fighting you..." he clenched his fists, he feels like I abandoned him!? Why would he think that? I would never do that! "Kei-" "Shut Up!" He yelled "Im not keith... Im hardly even alive...its like a dull ache.... I don't even have a heart beat, no pulse... no anything "


	2. H-how?

I-I don't know what to do... he came back... just like he said... he really isn't keith. He's very different, his voice was different, it was scratchy. His limbs seemed loser, it looked as if he couldn't remain still for more than 5 seconds. Oh god it was all my fault, I really caused that. I left him.... I did the one thing I promised not to do... "I-Im so so-" he interrupted me "STOP I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR BULLSHIT" he yelled, shortly after he pushed me into the wall. Slamming his fist into my jaw, I staggered backwards to the door. "I'm sick and tired of being pushed around and meaning. nothing..." I leaned against the door arm near the keypad just in case, "I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm sorry" he repeated slamming his hands into the sides of his helmet, a stting of apologies came from his mouth and he was shaking more. What the hell?! One minute he's yelling and hating me and the next he's apologizing and pretty much crying. "W-What happened to you?" I asked "You know what happened... what you did" he replied "Thats not what I meant..." "Then what did you mean!?" "How are you here? What happened after yo-u you...." I couldn't finish "How should I know I woke up in some galra facility!" He yelled "K- pl-please just calm down..." I tried "You don't know what they did...they pulled me apart over and over..." "Who?" I asked "The people you left me with!" He snapped again personalities swapping. His hands were shaking again, this time it looked from fear. I slowly walked forward from the door, over to where keith stood. I grabbed the areas where the twin blades stayed, just to make sure he didn't do anything too drastic. "Keith-" "Stop calling me that..... Im not him! Keith wa-" he didn't finish. "Just let me leave...." he begged "You came here what did you want!" I replied "I don't know... I really don't..." keith stammered "We can help you... just calm down" his shoulders stopped shaking "well what if I don't want help?" His voice turned cold, I quickly took a few steps back away. "What if I'm better like this, what if I'm stronger?, what if I'm not some weka little brat!?" He asked, voice lined with a chill. "Keith please I understandwhat they did...." "You wouldn't believe the crap they did.... cutting, stabbing, shocking, burning!? Did they do that to you!? Did they pull your heart straight out of your chest!? " He yelled "So the galra brou-" he interrupted "No they just found me..... I fave zero fucking clue how I'm here, All I know is it's your fault...." "Keith please we di-" he interrupted again "No... It's not even everyone elses... Just yours, you left me, pidge I forgave.... Lance had nothing to do with it, Allura couldn't stop me, hun-k wasn't even on the planet... yo-u were the only one there...." Crap... he was right.... I-I haven't even thought about it like that.... It really is my fault... I should have done something. "Keith pleas-" "Don't.... call... me that... I'm not keith, not anymore" He didn't even believe that he was himself, god wh-what should I do? "Why did you take pidges laptop?" I asked changing the subject. "It was the only way to get her attention, I was gonna use it to tell her to screw off" with his tone of voice I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic. "Anyways... we're getting off topic!" Keith exclaimed excitedly "What topic?..." I ask suspiciously "You know torture, maiming, murder? You know all things I came here to do?" I backed up against the door again, hand near keypad. He pulled out a small blade from his belt "I'm guessing you've never had your internal organs ripped out of your body? Or the equivalent of a lightning bolt shooting threw your body? ooh what about dislocating your own shoulders? Well I can tell you none of it is fun" "I-I'm sorry kei-th... I never m-eant for this t-o happen" I stammer "Well of course! Nothing is ever your fault! You've never done anything wrong! You never mean anything!" He replies "I never said that... I know it's my fault... I know what I did! I know what I should have done! I know you're freaked out but that isn't an escuse to murder people!" I yell "Oh please don't talk to me about that crap... cause didn't you tell me about all the people you killed because of the galra? Am I just doing the same thing?" Keith asked mockingly "This is different! You actually have a choice!" "No I don't! I never had one! I didn't have a choice with dying I didn't have a choice t-to be ripped apart! I-I didn't choose to be tortured! This. Is. All. Your. Fault. You did this! I'm only showing you what you did..." keith yelled walking closer "Y-you made me this way.... you made me hurt them... y-you brought this on me..." his grip tightened on the blade, it was nothing like the blade of mamora's. It had no symbol, and the blade was dark almost like obsidian. It had a curve in the middle similar to a karambit blade. He held it tight to his chest, blade digging into his armour. I grabbed it before it peirced his armour. "Stop! I'm not losing you again!" I told him "You already did..." his head hung low, constantly trying to get the blade to stab into his abdomen. He could be messing with me, after all I couldn't see his face. He still had the helmet on, so I couldn't see his expressions.


	3. Even more questions

  
  
Shiro quickly grabbed keiths wrists pinning them beside him against the wall, keith squirmed in shiros grasp trying to get free. "L-let go!" Keith yelled. Shiro leaned into keiths shoulder, "kei-th please.... I-I love you...I- think about you everyday, I ne-ed you, You need to come back please... we need you, I need you, I always knew it was my fault, I shou-ld have known you were alive, I should hav- please... I love you... I love you... I love so mu-ch... please... I reall- n-need you" Shiro cried, shiro let go of one of Keiths wrists up to his helmet, it was similar to the paladin armour so it wasn't hard to unclasp it form the suit. Shiro pulled the helmet off staring into keiths eyes the scelera were stained a dull white, there were streams of tears down the side of keiths face. Shiro rests his forehead against keith, trusting him at the moment enough not to injure him in anyways to close his eyes. "Sh-iro I-I lo-ve you" keith relaxed pressing his lips closer to Shiro's. Shiro pulled keith closer to himself bringing keiths lips against his own, everything was well and perfect until keith tensed. The free hand keith had pushed Shiro amost completely to the other side of the room, keiths eyes turned dark again full yellow even. Keith wiped his mouth, glaring daggers at shiro. "Th-is changes Nothing!" Keith growled, grabbing his helmet from the ground pulling it back on. Shiro quickly grabbed the edge of the desk helping himself up, "keith please don-" keith walked over kicking shiro in the abdomen. "It's. Your. Fault. Stop. Making. Escuses!" Keith said while stomping on Shiros stomach over and over again with each word. Shiro leaned over his side coughing up blood, keith kicked shiro in the face and then the neck more times then shiro could count. Well maybe it was three, shiro couldn't tell he had probably 4 concussions. Keith took a few steps back grabbing his knife and said "you are a sickness needing rid of the universe" running out of the room. Shiro carefully stood up leaning against the wall, only to fall down shortly after passing out.  
Shiro woke up in a confined space, he slowly opened his eyes to find himself in a healing pod. He pressed against the holo-glass and it slid open, Shiro carefully stepped out moving his jaw back and forth trying to get used to the numb sensation? Oh yeah thats right... Keith hit him multiple times ,and quite possibly broke something by the feeling of shiros ribs. He leaned agaist the table, god that kiss was amazing But again he was back to trying to kill him... "what happened to you keith?" Shiro asked himself closing his eyes. Shiro rubbed the back of his neck, "why was he one minute kissing me but then the next hating me?" Then he heard the door slide open, shiro looked over to see Allura "Shiro! Your out already!?" Allura raced over.  
"I guess? How long was I in there?" Shiro asked  
"2 varga" she answered  
"That wasn't long at all" Shiro said confused  
"T-thats why I'm suprised" allura stuttered  
Shiro sat down rubbing the back of his neck again, "w-what happened with keith?" Allura asked  
"You saw that?" Shiro replied by asking another question.  
"No pidge told me only about the fight you two had... I-I thought h-" allura didn't finish  
"I thought so too" Shiro finished  
Does.... she know about the kiss? Shiro questioned himself  
"I'll go tell the others you are awake" Allura told him walking away shortly after. Shiro gingerly touched his lips, thinking back to the kiss that only lasted about a few seconds. He let me do that.... why did he push away?... shiro thought once more. Shiro brought one knee up to his chest resting his head on it. "I'm sorry keith... I-I never meant for this to happen... heh I-I looks like I keep chasing the people I love away....."  
Shiro rubbed at his eyes, wiping away the wetness on his sleeve. He covered his mouth with his hand, preventing any noise to come out, after a few ticks he calmed down. Right on time as lance and pidge walked in, still in their garrison uniforms. "Hey..." Shiro greeted  
"Dude H-how di-d-" shiro interrupted already knowing the question "I don't know"  
Pidge stepped forward " are you ok? You weren't in there for a long time... only about 2 hours" pidge asked not seeming to care about lances last question. Shiro shrugged not knowing what to say, they talked for a little longer after that but lance got called down for some reason and it was just him and pidge. "Sooo...." pidge pulled out the word  
"If you're thinking what I think you're thinking you can leave"  
"About what? That kiss? Nooo I-I was more so thinking about how keith is back! Yeah totally I was thinking about how keith was back.... not about the kiss and how keith experiencing minor split personality disorder!" Pidge admitted  
Shiro rolled his eyes "I honestly don't know... maybe quintessence? You were exposed to large quantities not long ago in the quintessence field..." Shiro guessed.  
"We would have detected the amonut of quintessence needed for that..." pidge stated blantly  
"It might not have been alot maybe just small bits over a matter of time" shiro countered  
"Maybe... but if thats true we may have felt something by now?" Pidge asked  
"Maybe it only works when you're dead" shiro shrugged 


	4. Empty

Blurry... that's all he felt... that's his vision was like.... he couldn't see much... everything seemed dark... it was like a clearing of what the world was like... everyone had a certain tone to the darkness... but Takashi Shirogane had one of the darkest he's ever seen... this darkness, someone had to rid of the universe... no he had too... he was the only one who could.... he never cared... he was just some orphan who stole his car... laughter... that's all he heard... maybe it was his own? He couldn't tell... alot was hard to tell now... sometimes he would forget to breathe for hours... but out of habit he did... the taste in his mouth was of ash... fitting isn't it? Is it punishment for the death of his father? Did they blame him? Was it really my fault? Heh... I can't remember anymore... was I playing with matches that day? Fiddleing with his old lighter? Of course... his lighter he hadn't seen that for a while... or was it some other rebellious teen? He may never know... his skin lightly ached... like holding his hand over a candle... he used to hate that feeling... but now it's the only thing keeping him sane... or atleast keeping the amount left that is... he used to sneak that out of his pocket thinking about how the falme erupted from such a small containment... of course the thoughts that fill his mind now are all of toture and pain... he had many many many many many many.. many.... many.........many scars from the still rebellious galra... they wanted to know how I was back.... all I did was laugh... told them to go screw themselves.... they took out my heart and showed me it... the sweet and bitter smell of gore filled the room... the scar on his cheek was still there... just a remnant of what Takashi Shirogane can do... what harm he has done.. is rhat how he fought with the galra? Ruthless? Without mercy? I can't say I'm any better but hey.... gotta try right?.... keith laughed to himself at the thoughts running a million miles threw his mind. When had these thoughts started? Maybe before he died? Maybe after? Memories can be difficult... after all we remember what we like to... not what we need to... I was worthless to them... they never even cared... the closest shit I had to that was Shiro... and well... he's the reason why I'm like this.... so not very close to caring.... ahhh to be human.... worse time of my life... I had maybe one or two good moments... but I'm having the best times I've ever had now then ever.... of course my thought process may have changed.... but no matter  
Anger... thats all he felt... it was a dull ache... an ache that was only rage... he was angry at him... Takashi Shirogane... "can't believe I loved him..." he laughed, laced with a shrill poison... he tossed the blade between his fingers... "should I do it? I'd have no one to care...." keith laughed again  
He dropped the blade behind him boredly... he rested his face on his palm... he had no one to care... what was the point? He wanted them to feel pain... maybe he'd do it after he killed him...  
Maybe... maybe  
How would he do it? Would he.... tear out his heart? Slice his throat? Oh... what about torture? What if he were to do it infront of them all? That would give the satisfaction... yeah but he couldn't take them all at once... maybe take e'm one at a time? Nah... they'd get suspicious and travel in groups... hnnngh this. Sucks. Sooo. Much.... maybe just... kill one? Keep them one their toes for now? When would they be alone? Lance playing that game... pidge when she got frustrated.... hunk when baking... allura.... she's never alone... same with Shiro.... what about James? Or that Leifsdottir? Wait- no no one at the garrison is ever alone.... who to kill... who to kill... maybe just blow something up and hope for the best? Maybe just sneak in? He would still have access... maybe.... not sure though.... wouldn't wanna risk getting caught... this sucks... revenge is not as easy as it seems... I miss not dying... it was alot different from when shiro was trapped in the astral plane... it was darker.... and colder... he couldn't remember much... but that was the most he could remember... so many ways to die yet so little time... I'mmmmmm soooooo tiiiiirrrred... yet I can't sleep... trust me I've tried.... but I can't.... and food tastes like crap... so I just exist eith zero things to do... maybe he could break into some rouge galra base? Those are rare now a days.... I wish I let sendak kill him... I'd have more galra.... and shiro would be dead.... so win-win.... was life always like this? Just made less boring because of the drive to live?....


End file.
